Combining Alter-Egos - by Victoria Iarocci - White Cowbell Oklahoma's music is guitar-heavy, lyrically crude, upbeat, explicit and sexual. It is the new-age, evolved variation of classic rock. Their tracks are ideal for cruising down a southern interstate in a rusted, vintage-blue pickup with the windows rolled down and the passenger seat featuring a youthful blonde southern belle. She has a bucket of trans-fatty southern fried chicken wedged between her feet. She sings along to the music, giggling, and consuming both the moment and the warm tender flesh of the chicken. That's White Cowbell Oklahoma in personified form. The band has just completed their latest studio album: Casa Diablo. "Celtic dudes, and Amazonian witch doctors fashioned it, our unparalleled virtuosity," says Clem. "It was released in Europe first, and critics had multiple orgasms off of it. We are touring consistently like storm troopers in the night to bring this album to the people. We are just insane enough to want to tour the Rocky Mountains this time of year. We are just doing a little run between B.C. and Alberta just for kicks because it is the worst time of the year." Clem goes on to explain why he and his boys feel so compelled to make their music, and the dedication that goes into their tracks and their live performances. "People don't credit us for our studio craftsmanship, but, people in Europe, they actually listen to the records before they go to our shows. In Canada, people only talk about our shows, which are explosive, powerful; each show is a Picasso of rock. In Europe, the fans actually listen to the music. But people in North America tend to applaud after the giant stuffed bunny doll is chain sawed, and two greased-up naked females wasted on tequila conduct a not-so-fake sexual act in the carnage left over from the bunny." White Cowbell Oklahoma claim their music shapes their fans and even alters their life paths. "The last thing our fans remember is the second song, and then they wake up in Timmins after our Toronto show, and they just sold all their belongings and done drugs they have never done before. Their hearing is gone, along with their clothes. They have found redemption; we bring you back to the bottom so there is no further to go. It makes you have multiple orgasms — it is a cult really." Eight musicians complete the White Cowbell Oklahoma ensemble, but apparently there are others. "There are many others in many other towns — secret agents. We have dancers across the continent, across the world in fact — performance artists, general low-lifes who come to town to end up at on our stage. Sometimes we find them at the greyhound stations It is just the kind of band this is." White Cowbell Oklahoma is currently working on three albums. Two of these albums will be created in the studio; one is an archival live studio mash-up and the other is a studio selection that is prog-rock inspired. The third is live and was recorded when Cowbell headlined a hippy festival in Germany in 2006 "I am a guitar player; there are three guitar players like in any good southern rock band. At one place we had nine guitar players on stage. It was a hell of a racket. I sing a lot of the songs and usually vibrate at a level that would make me invisible to you. We all like to live very fast. We can come down to this dimension for interviews." "Get On, Get Down," for example, is a raunchy track. It profiles being sweet, sixteen, and yet able to 'get down.' This is the perfect anthem for a 16-year-old girl, fake ID tucked away in the back pocket of her skin-tight jeans. Suddenly, a music montage breaks out, featuring her and the object of her affection: a 25-year-old trucker, clad in cowboy boots and a staggering amount of plaid print. They paw at each other on the beer-soaked dance floor. Clem further explains White Cowbell Oklahoma's celestial purpose on this planet. "We like making trippy music for the messed-up people. We are a set of immortals from the brown realm fourth dimension. We created the big band and continue to create the Big Bang; it has been around for about eight years, you know, you mortals have only seen us for that long. We have been travelling around the world making records, travelling around touring in a Soviet submarine, playing a lot of rock and roll, also using this as a front for our global intrigue plot." White Cowbell Oklahoma aren't just talk — they're pure action and all satisfaction. With live shows that demand to be enjoyed with much beer and belligerent fits of screaming, they are southern smut and they encourage all to join their path of debauchery. If you can handle it, strap yourself in.