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SoundProof’s Sassy Signs
- by Karolina Rous -
For some astrology is a way of life. The charts must be consulted before making any major decisions: Will I fall in love today? Will this be a good month to lose weight? Should I buy that car? That house? That lady of the night?
Fear not, good readers, we've come up with a foolproof way to know whether your musical tastes are compatible with you.
These horoscopes were determined using a variety of methods and sources: polls; fancy instruments for measuring, uh, signage; music compatibility; and a bottle of Wild Turkey.
PERSONALITY: When it comes to causing ruckus and making a scene, it always seems that this sign is behind the fun, which comes to no surprise that punk is a Taurus. Charming yet aggressive, punk is one hardworking genre that is all about rallying youth, fighting inequality, promoting political upheaval and questioning the status quo. Passionate, this sign always expresses itself emotionally in a fiery, compelling way. No surprise that bands such as Black Flag, Dead Kennedy’s, Sex Pistols, Against Me!, Minor Threat, Ramones and The Clash all share these characteristics with Taurus. Prone to ferocious temper tantrums, Taurus is a determined, indulgent sign. When you think punk, you’ll certainly see these similarities in live performances. Punk loves you hard and is loyal, just like this sign. When it comes to sex, punk is all about giving you a good, hard fuck, with no frills attached. You might not be able to bring punk home to meet mom and dad, but you’ll certainly enjoy one hell of a fling with this music genre!
   
Dead Kennedy's The Sex Pistols Minor Threat
2008 PREDICTIONS: Punk is dead. Let’s face it, you can’t argue with this fact. While there are many bands that have taken the tradition of what punk stood for and represented, it can never really and truly be duplicated. That being said, we predict that 2008 will see a strong surge of newly reissued punk classic albums, which will reinforce the integral importance of this genre to music’s history and progression. Don’t worry, for those of you who still need new punk, you’ll always have bands such as Clorox Girls, The Vacancies and Fishbone to tide you over — but don’t hesitate putting on the Sex Pistols when you need a real punk fix.
More Sassy Signs:
Aquarius
PiscesAries
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