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SoundProof’s Sassy Signs
- by Karolina Rous -
For some astrology is a way of life. The charts must be consulted before making any major decisions: Will I fall in love today? Will this be a good month to lose weight? Should I buy that car? That house? That lady of the night?
Fear not, good readers, we've come up with a foolproof way to know whether your musical tastes are compatible with you.
These horoscopes were determined using a variety of methods and sources: polls; fancy instruments for measuring, uh, signage; music compatibility; and a bottle of Wild Turkey.
PERSONALITY: Smart, witty, outgoing, lively, energetic and chatty. Yup, sounds like jazz and Geminis have a few traits in common! Versatile and busy — and occasionally tense and nervous — this sign fits the jazz mould quite well. Continuously changing and morphing, like the arrangements of John Coltrane or Charlie Parker, this genre of music is one of the most creative and unique amongst the bunch. Where would music be, after all, without the phenomenal jazz talents Miles Davis, Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong? When it comes to hitting all the right notes in the sack, you’ll find that jazz and Gemini align quite perfectly as well. Geminis are known for their transformative, ever changing nature, as is jazz, which means versatility and unpredictability when it comes to sex. You never know what you are gonna get with this genre, be it fun and flirtatious or downright lascivious.
   
Miles DavisCharlie Parker John Coltrane
2008 PREDICTIONS: Diana Krall, move on over. We predict that a new slew of talent is on the rise in 2008 in the new tradition of Charles Mingus Sextet, Maria Schneider Orchestra, and Paul Bley. Jazz is a distinctive, constantly evolving genre, which will throw the doors wide open in the New Year for a whole new generation of talent. And we’re not talking about your grandfather’s jazz here, either. We’re talking about fresh, hot new acts that will finally see more mainstream acknowledgement. It’s time for jazz to make a second coming — and ’08 just might be the year for this genre to make a serious dent on the music scene.
More Sassy Signs:
 
 
Aquarius
PiscesAriesTaurus
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